Belong
by oth4eva
Summary: Everything with Peyton is a mistake right? So then why do you keep making the same 'mistake'... Lucas sighed, he was completely conflicted; all he knew was that this wasn't how he was supposed to feel on his wedding day, he just didn't know how to fix it.


_**Belong**_

_wake up lonely with you by my side  
>one more night it doesn't feel <em>

Lucas starts awake. He's not sure what awoke him; but his heart is racing. He's startled and he puts a hand over his chest, breathing in deeply. A few seconds later he turns his head and looks at the girl sleeping so soundly next to him. Not for the first time he feels guilty.

This girl is amazing- she's kind, she's beautiful and she loves him. And yet when he looks at her his heart doesn't skip a beat, when he kisses her he doesn't get butterflies and when he hears her laugh he doesn't automatically smile.

He loves her but he doesn't think he's in love with her. But it doesn't matter because with her it's easy; it's the least complicated relationship he's ever been in and he sort of relishes in that fact.

It doesn't matter that she's not the love of his life- she's been there for him for years and he'll be forever thankful for that.

He finds out the next day that Peyton Sawyer is back in town and he banishes away the thought that the reason he'd woken so suddenly in the night was because he'd sensed she was back, the thought was practically absurd and yet when he sees her again his heart jumps into his throat.

They're all at Jamie's birthday party and she's wearing a simple sun dress and he simply can't stop staring at her. She looks more mature, she's let her hair grow out of the curls he loved into long waves but he can't say the look doesn't suit her. She still has the same chickeny legs and he both grimaces and smiles at the thought, taking a considerable gulp of his beer. She's the same and yet he feels like he doesn't know her. He feels like they're strangers and the thought makes him frown painfully. At the same time he's so pissed with her; she said no to his proposal and then when he tentatively asked her to his book signing hoping that they could start something up again she didn't even show.

He hated her.

And with that thought he stood up and walked out of the room, he couldn't look at her. Instead he found his girlfriend, banished all thoughts of Peyton from his mind and became the doting boyfriend.

'I'm just going to get another drink.' Lindsey smiled at him and he took her glass from her hand.

'Let me.' He winked with a perfect smile and she practically melted.

His smile fell as he walked into the kitchen; he wasn't trying to be angry but he was. Rightfully so he thought. Why did she have to come back? Why after all these years?

Pouring Lindsey a glass of wine he put the bottle down forcefully and backed his way out of the door, almost knocking someone over in the process. The wine he was holding went all over his shirt and he cursed before turning around,

'I'm sorr-' He said flinging out a hand to steady the person he'd nearly knocked over, but he stopped mid sentence.

Her eyes were greener than he remembered and he hadn't thought that was even possible.

'Don't worry about it.' She said and her voice was soft as though testing the waters.

He couldn't help but stare at her and she met his eyes with her own, it had been three long years since she'd seen his face and she knew that had been way too long. His hair was messy, shorter than the night they'd graduated but longer than that fateful night in the hotel room, his eyes were still the piercing blue she remembered.

Peyton stepped past him and grabbed a wet cloth, he watched as she approached him and his breath hitched the closer she got.

'What're you doing?' He asked and the words came out harsher than he'd intended.

'You have wine on your shirt.' She stated and pressed the cloth to the stain.

He took in a deep breath, her shampoo abusing his nostrils and with it a stream of memories. He pushed her hand roughly away and said,

'I got it.'

She looked up quickly and was surprised to see the animosity in his eyes.

'Lucas-'

'Don't.' He said through clenched teeth and grabbed the cloth off her. She stared at him for a few seconds and then walked out of the room. He closed his eyes with a sigh.

That was not how he imagined their first conversation in three years to go.

_there are movies playing in your eyes  
>you dream of our fortunes <em>

He doesn't see her for a week and he thinks that's probably a good thing. However he can't lie that Peyton returning hasn't changed him because it has, he's agitated all of the time, he's not sleeping and he's also writing like crazy.

Something Lindsey is ever so pleased with- probably not if she knew the reason behind it.

Knowing she's in town is killing him, there's a constant battle in his head about whether to go and talk to her. He always wimps out at the last moment though, truth be told he's a little scared at what seeing her will do, he's scared that feelings will come rushing back and he won't be able to control the things he says and does. He doesn't want to mess things up with Lindsey, he's done this with Peyton once before and, although it had been in high school, that hadn't ended well either.

'Lucas?'

He looks up quickly and sees Haley's eyes on him.

'Sorry.' He says quickly, him and Lindsey are having dinner with Nathan and Haley, something they have quite regularly but this time he'd never been so far away mentally.

'So what were you talking about? I was a million miles away.' He smiled slipping his hand into Lindsey's as it lies on top of the table. She interlocks their fingers with a smile and says,

'Weddings.'

His stomach goes into free fall and his heart nearly beats out of his chest.

'Really? Nathan and Haley's?' He asks tentatively.

'No, I was just telling them both that we hadn't really talked about it.' Lindsey smiles.

Lucas cleared his throat, 'That's because I don't want to get married.'

He carefully avoided Lindsey's expression but he couldn't miss Nathan and Haley's. Nathan frowned at him with a clear 'what the fuck' expression and Haley's mouth was slightly parted in surprise.

'Ever?'

He turned his face to Lindsey and she looked almost crushed, 'I'm not saying ever just not for a long while. I just think I want to marry later on in life… I don't want to rush into anything. I'm sorry Linds, I just- that's how I feel.'

_but you're wrong  
>i don't belong to you<em>

Haley's nostrils flared and she said, 'Right anyway, Lucas come and help me with dessert.'

He let go of Lindsey's hand and followed Haley into the kitchen.

'What the hell was that?' She asked in scathing whisper as soon as the door had closed behind them.

'What do you mean?'

'That lie you just told!'

'I didn't lie- I don't want to get married.'

Haley ran a hand through her hair, 'That's bull Lucas, you've always wanted to get married… remember when we did those predictions at the start of every year? You were ready to get married then!'

Lucas swallowed and said, 'Yeah well, things change.'

'Is this about Peyton?'

Lucas laughed but it was humourless, 'Go on Hales, psycho analyse every single thing I do or say.'

'Well you wanted to get married three years ago when you proposed to Peyton!'

'Exactly and look how well that turned out!'

'So it is about her then?'

Lucas slammed the plate onto the tabletop and Haley jumped. He stared at her for a few seconds and then turned and walked out of the kitchen.

Lying in bed a few hours later he couldn't believe what a jerk he'd been to his best friend and resolved to apologise tomorrow for his behaviour. Rubbing a hand over his face he turned again to see his girlfriend sleeping soundly beside him, she'd seemed pretty surprised at his declaration of not wanting to get married and he couldn't blame her. Even he wasn't quite sure where it came from; all he knew was that when that conversation had come up he'd gotten completely panicky.

And surely if you're asked whether you would potentially marry your girlfriend of years you shouldn't be feeling like he was?

_the moon is the only friend i have outside  
>one more drink &amp; i'll be healed <em>

Peyton's been in town for a month and a half and they've hardly spoken; he's going slightly crazy. He takes the drink the bartender just put down on the bar and he chugs it down in one, asking for another one straight away. He doesn't love Peyton and yet he can't stop thinking about her, wondering what she's doing and wondering how she is. And he hates it. He wants it all to stop; he wants to be happy with Lindsey.

He wants to be fulfilled; not feeling as though a portion of him is missing.

He motions for another drink off the bartender and the guy raises an eyebrow,

'I think you've had enough man.'

'And I think you should shut up and do your job.' Lucas said through clenched teeth.

The bartenders eyebrows shot up but he didn't say another word; instead he poured a glass of something strong and pushed the glass over to Lucas. He swigged his drink and turned away from the bar staring around the club that was now his ex girlfriends. Trying to be the good guy he'd called his mom and they'd decided to rent the place to Peyton; and so now Peyton ran her label from Tric and ran the club too. They had spoken about it only a handful of times and even then conversations between the two had been tense, Lucas couldn't help wanting to help Peyton but at the same time he hated his compulsion to do it. Their relationship went up and down like a yo yo, one minute Lucas was caring and they teetered dangerously on the edge of caring too much about each other and the next minute he was angry and dismissive. And so they stopped talking really and when they did it was simply about business.

He clenched his teeth as the woman he'd been thinking about walked through Tric's doors. She was carrying a stack of papers and as she walked her wavy hair bounced; she stopped for a second as she saw someone and he looked at the guy she was talking to. He looked like one of the staff but he was definitely looking at her with more interest than her being practically his boss, he said something and Peyton laughed. Lucas could practically hear it, his fist clenched and his eyes narrowed. She squeezed the guys arm and then moved away; going into her recording studio/office and shutting the door behind her.

Lucas turned back around in his seat and uncurled his fist. He hated how he felt; he hated that the little scenes he'd just witnessed had stirred strong feelings of jealousy inside of him and that he could do nothing about it. Sitting there for an extra five minutes he raked a hand through his hair, his temper and jealousy rising, making a decision he threw back his drink swallowing it in one gulp and stood up.

And then he paced away from the bar and straight through the door Peyton had just gone through.

Hearing her door open and close forcefully Peyton looked up from the cd's she was sorting through and stood up, moving out from behind her desk and crossing her arms across herself when she saw who it was.

'What do you want Lucas?'

He grinds his teeth slightly in response and then he's strode forwards and pulled her to him, his grip tight on her elbows. His breathing is erratic and her breath hitches, then before she can say anything his lips are on hers, kissing her with a passion that surprises both of them; he nudges open her mouth with his tongue and pulls her closer at the same time. There's an edge to his kisses that she hadn't felt before. He used to kiss her with gentleness, with love- but this wasn't that. This was lust almost bordering on anger and possessiveness.

He abruptly pulled away and his erratic breathing feathered across her lips, his hands going to her hips as he walked them backwards towards the nearest wall. Her breath hitched with slight pain as her back hit the wall with more force than she'd anticipated. Lucas raised his head and reunited their lips. His kiss was unyielding; it was forceful and angry. She gripped his shoulders as he pressed himself into her with force, his hips sharply colliding with hers. He let out a slight hiss and she claimed his lips with her own again, rational thought having left her brain as soon as he'd kissed her.

She could taste the alcohol on his tongue but couldn't seem to find the will to stop. His hand moved from her hip to the hem of her shirt and he balled the small amount of material into his fist succeeding in pulling them even closer together. Lucas let go of the hem of her shirt abruptly and slipped a hand underneath, sliding it to the small of her back and down before cupping her jean clad bottom. Before she even had a chance to get used to the sensation he slid his hand down her leg and to the underside of her knee, abruptly pulling her leg up to hook around his hip.

Peyton's breathing was already laboured but she closed her eyes at the sensation of him being so close but so far away at the same time. One thought lodged itself through her lust induced haze; they needed to stop. It had already got way out of hand.

They needed to stop.

Lucas dipped his head to concentrate on that spot on her neck he knew she loved and that he'd never forgotten about and she managed to get both of her hands on his chest. She closed her eyes at the sensations he was invoking within her and a minute later with one forceful shove she pushed him away and he stumbled in surprise.

He looks at her and he's breathing hard but there's no apology that passes between his lips. There's no explanation; he gives her a look she can't really decipher and then he leaves. He walks out of her office without a backward glance and she's left wondering where the hell the Lucas Scott she used to know has gone.

She closes her eyes and slumps into the wall breathing fast. What had she done? Why did they never learn? Pulling herself together after a few minutes she grabs her bag from off her desk and heads home. Peyton sighs as she closes the door to her and Brooke's house and she goes straight to the fridge pulling out a bottle of white wine and pouring her a glass.

'A large. Must have been a rough night.' Peyton turns to see her best friend standing behind her with a smile. She pushes a hand through her hair and says,

'You have no idea.'

'Wanna talk about it?' Brooke offers.

'No- I don't.' Peyton says quickly. 'I just want to go to bed.'

Brooke looks a little surprised, 'Okay.'

'Sorry B Davis.' Peyton amends walking over to her best friend and pulling her into a hug, 'I'm just really tired.'

_i told you the words & then knew it was a lie  
>i wish i could offer an appeal<br>you're wrong  
>i don't belong to you <em>

Lucas lets himself into his house and he can't help but pace. He hates it, he hates feeling like this. He's agitated and it's all because of Peyton freaking Sawyer. Why couldn't he have stayed away? None of this would have happened if he'd just stayed away. But it was like some magnetic pull was pulling him to her, he couldn't stop it even if he wanted to.

And then when they'd kissed.

He roughly ran a hand through his hair and carried on pacing, his hands finding the back of his head and balling into fists around his hair. He contemplates punching a wall to relieve his tensions but he knows it'll be more trouble than its worth, the alcohol is still buzzing through him and all he wants to do is go back to her office and finish what they'd started. With that thought he grumbles and bangs his fist onto the book shelf.

'Honey, are you okay?'

He swivels round and sees Lindsey. His heart goes into free fall and he gives her the best fake smile that he can.

'Yeah, sure, everything's fine.'

She walks up to him and cups his face and forces him to look down at her, he's almost startled to find her eyes are a dull grey colour rather than the emerald he'd become accustomed to. He shakes his head and a thought pops into his mind.

A ridiculous, ludicrous thought. But a potentially brilliant one- a thought that he knows will put an end to all of his inappropriate feelings.

'Do you want to get married?' He blurts out.

Lindsey's mouth opens in surprise, 'Are you-?'

'Lindsey-' He stops for a second and swallows. The alcohol is making his heart race and the blood is pumping through his veins, it's all he can hear. He shakes his head subconsciously trying to rid the haziness the alcohol had caused,

'Will you marry me?'

* * *

><p>'Good morning!'<p>

'Uhuh.' Peyton grumbles heading straight for the coffee machine. Brooke smiles at her best friend and continues reading the magazine in front of her.

'God I feel like death.'

Brooke looks up and frowns slightly, 'Well honey, hate to tell you but you like death too, did you get any sleep last night?'

Peyton rolls her eyes and turns around, the shoulder of her overlarge t shirt slipping off her shoulder as she did so, 'Always know how to make me feel better B Davis.'

But Brooke is frowning and Peyton frowns too at her friends expression, 'Brooke what the-?'

'Is that a hickey?'

Peyton's face burns and she pulls her t shirt up again, covering the junction where her neck meets her shoulder.

'Brooke-'

'Is that a hickey?' Brooke repeated, 'Did you hook up with someone?'

'No-'

'Wow, I've never heard of a hickey just popping up by itself. P Sawyer, who's the lucky guy?'

Peyton's hands went to her temples, 'You're going to judge me.'

'Why would I judge- … oh my god, Peyton please tell me it wasn't Lucas.'

Peyton closed her eyes and that was all the confirmation Brooke needed. 'What the hell P Sawyer? I'm onboard the Lucas and Peyton bandwagon don't get me wrong but he has a girlfriend.'

'I know that. I know- he came into my office last night and he just kissed me. Totally out of the blue. It was one kiss.'

'Wow that must be one powerful kiss.' Brooke said raising an eyebrow.

'It was just a couple of kisses- one make out! Okay, one.'

'One more than it should have been.'

'Look I stopped it; I stopped before it went any further.' Peyton said defensively. 'I pushed him away.'

'I'm sorry Peyt.' Brooke sighed, 'I really don't mean to judge, but what the hell is wrong with this guy?'

'I don't know, I don't know what he was thinking. I just- I couldn't do it. I love him but I'm not being that girl.' Peyton said and then added, 'Again. I'm not being that girl again.'

Brooke gave her friend a sympathetic smile and flung an arm around her shoulders, 'Lucas Scott's a right piece of work huh?'

'Totally.'

'I wonder what kind of ass like move he'll make next.'

* * *

><p>'What the fuck?'<p>

He closes his laptop with trepidation and stares at Brooke Davis who is standing on the other side of his desk.

'Hello to you too Brooke.' He smirks but the look she gives him makes him falter slightly. His smirk being replaced with a frown,

'Why do you insist on being such an ass?'

'Okay now I really don't know what I've done.' He chuckles.

'Proposing to someone you don't love, ring a bell?' She asks angrily.

Lucas sighs and stands up, 'I do love Lindsey.'

'Uhuh and that's why you were practically having sex with Peyton the other day.'

Lucas' mouth opens in surprise, 'We- we didn't- I- we didn't!'

'Only because she pushed you away!' Brooke seethes, dropping her bag to the floor.

Lucas stays silent, partly because he's never seen Brooke so mad and partly because she's right. If Peyton hadn't have pushed him away they probably would have slept together.

'Look, I'm not proud of it-'

'Really?'

The sarcasm dripped off the word and he almost smiled; she'd obviously learned something from her best friend.

'It was a mistake.'

'I've heard that before- everything with Peyton is a mistake right? So then why do you keep making the same 'mistake' over and over again?'

Lucas doesn't have an answer; Peyton was never a mistake and yet he's told both Brooke and Lindsey differently. It doesn't come as a shock to him to realise that he's always reassuring his girlfriends of his 'non feelings' for his ex. And yet when he'd been with Peyton she hadn't been insecure about Brooke or anyone; she'd known she was his.

'I've fucked up.'

'Big time. You're someone I don't even recognise these days. Where did old Lucas go?'

Lucas snorted, 'He left when _someone_ rejected his proposal.'

'Will you grow up? It's been three years Lucas. That was a mistake and if she could take that back I know that she would, in a heartbeat.'

Lucas' heart beat loudly in his chest and he breathed heavily, 'Yeah well I gave her another chance, I asked her to my book signing and she never came.'

'She was there you moron. She saw you and Lindsey together, assumed you'd moved on and left. And I'm not surprised Lucas, you go from one relationship to the next burying what you really feel.'

Lucas stares at her, aghast. He swears his heart stops beating, 'She-she was there?'

'Yes and honestly, right now, I don't know why she even bothered.' Brooke gives him a scowl, picks up her bag and walks out of the door making sure to slam it behind her for good measure.

_what i'd give for that first night when you were mine  
>tried with all that i have to keep you alive <em>

_i wasn't taught this way with a thousand things to say  
>i was born with a broken heart<br>what i'd give for that first night  
>you were mine<br>_

It's his engagement party and he's sure he's never felt worse. Nathan and Haley bought a beach house and Lucas and Lindsey have borrowed it for the occasion, there's happiness, laughter, more people than he can count and yet none of them penetrate his robot exterior. Excusing himself he walks alone across the sand, kicking his shoes through it, frowning.

He remembers a night where he and Peyton sat on this beach; a night which started the best summer of his life. A night which rejuvenated their friendship, a night when he realised it was always going to be there between them. Feelings would always float around; she would always be the first person he ever loved.

The only person he's ever loved completely.

Taking a gulp of his beer he can't help but let his mind wander to the state championship, the first night that he had ever called Peyton Sawyer his girlfriend. She was his and he'd been on cloud nine. He hadn't realised it at the time but when they'd kissed all of the weight had been lifted off his shoulders and he felt like he hadn't a care in the world.

The first night when she'd been his.

She still should have been his.

Grimacing he threw the bottle with all his strength into the sea. He suddenly felt the urge to yell and he interlocks his fingers around the back of his head, breathing heavily. A figure came into his peripheral vision and he looked up just to see Peyton falter as though she'd only just noticed him.

He lowered his hands and his shoulders slumped as he looked at her. She was wearing a green dress and she looked beautiful but he could always read her and the conflicting emotions were cascading from her.

Hating the silence he said the first thing that came to his mind, 'Thank you for coming.'

She nodded numbly and then let out a chuckle, 'As if I wouldn't support you Lucas.'

He was shocked at her admission and he shoved his hands into his pockets, 'Well then you're a better person than me; because if this was you're engagement party I'm not sure I'd have been able to make it.'

Peyton's eyes meet his tentatively and he's never seen her so guarded. She nods and swallows quickly as though she understands exactly what he means. They stand in silence for a few minutes, taking in the crashing waves and Lucas is relishing in these few stolen moments together; moments that he's sure will become few and far between when he's married. He swallows hard and he chokes out something that he's been meaning to say for months now,

'I'm sorry.'

She looks at him again and he turns to her, his hand acting of its own accord as it catches hers. His thumb rubs her skin and he says again, 'I'm so sorry, for everything Peyton.'

She smiles but her eyes are glistening with tears and all he wants to do is hold her and wipe them away. He wants to rid her of all her pain and he hates that he's the one causing it.

'You love her.'

'Peyton-'

She let go of his hand and cut in front of him before he could say anything else, 'Nothing else matters.'

Peyton smiled, tears still glistening in her eyes and turned away from him, walking away until she was succumbed to darkness.

He closed his eyes and let out a groan; Did he love Lindsey like he'd once loved Peyton?

The answer was clear to him; not by a long shot.

_so i'll put this cigarette to bed  
>pull some sheets from off your side<br>i put my arm around you safe in the night  
>still dreaming of fortune<br>but you're wrong  
>i don't belong<em>

It's the night before his wedding and he's got Lindsey in his arms; his hand intertwined with hers across his chest and his arm around her shoulder when he realises what a phony he is.

He's so obviously conflicted and yet here he is playing the doting fiancée. He hates himself for what he's done in the past month. He'd ignored Peyton completely when she'd arrived in Tree Hill, then he'd forced himself upon her and proposed to his girlfriend.

Closing his eyes his heart physically hurt with the pain he'd caused his one time girlfriend. The supposed love of his life. His mind floated to the words Brooke had spoken to him and he realised she was right; he didn't even recognise himself anymore. Peyton had once told him that what she loved about him was his passion. His passion to love and live so completely.

He had never been further from who he used to be. He floated through life settling for something that was easy because he was afraid. Afraid of hurting, afraid of getting his heart broken. Afraid of having everything and then losing it.

Silently disentangling himself from Lindsey he got out of bed and walked out of the room and into the guest room. Pulling open the wardrobe he rummaged around and at the back pulled out a cardboard box; placing it on the ground he sat down next to it and with a deep breath opened the lid.

His heart clenched as he realised he hadn't been able to open this box for years. His eyes skimmed over the contents; concert tickets (he smiled at The Cure ticket- although they hadn't seen the concert it had been a memorable night), trinkets that reminded him of Peyton, photos, little notes, his first draft of An Unkindness of Ravens, the first and only draft of The Comet (a book he'd written but had yet to show anyone).

It seemed like his whole life was in this box. Peyton's box.

His eyes skimmed over a photo of him and Peyton and his heart clenched painfully. One of his hands was at her hip the other was cupping her face and her hands were bunched up in his shirt, they were grinning and he knew exactly when it had been taken. She'd come to visit him nearly six months after she'd left for LA and he'd just picked her up at the airport; that had been a memorable night too. As she'd walked through the gates he thought he was going to explode due to how fast his heart was beating and when she ran towards him he caught her and wasted no time in kissing her.

He supposed that was what Peyton had been talking about- that passion.

The passion he was currently lacking.

Sighing he spent god knows how long looking through the box and reminiscing- his heart constricting at every new memory. Looking at his watch he realised it was three in the morning and he sighed.

He was completely conflicted; all he knew was that this wasn't how he was supposed to feel on his wedding day.

_You're wrong_

_I don't belong to you_

'It's your wedding day man, why do you look like you're going to a funeral?'

Lucas turned to Nathan and plastered on a smile, abandoning his bow tie.

'I'm fine. I just-' He sighed, 'Look Nate, I need to talk to Peyton- could you get her for me?'

Nathan raised his eyebrows and stared at his brother, 'You do know Lindsey is the one you're marrying right?'

'Please Nathan.'

Nathan shook his head, 'All right. I just want you to know Luke- that if you're having second thoughts I've got your back, okay?'

Lucas nodded gratefully and then Nathan walked out of the room.

Lucas shrugged off his suit jacket and began to pace, his heart beat rising considerably as he heard the door open and close. He turned with a deep breath to see Peyton looking so beautiful he almost couldn't look at her properly.

'Luke, are you okay?' She asked, concerned and he closed his eyes.

'I'm fine.' He said, pressing a hand to his temple and then opening his eyes again to survey her. She clasped her hands together nervously and the action made him see how much she was shaking, as though it was taking all she had in her to stand here with him. He closed his eyes again and turned away from her, pacing once more.

'I just- I need to know- I can't… I need to know-' He rambled.

'Know what?'

He stopped pacing and turned to her again, 'Did you come to the book signing three years ago?'

She looked surprised and toyed with her hands even more nervously. 'Why does it matter?' She asks exasperatedly after a minute.

He steps forward and closes the distance between them, 'It matters.'

Peyton breaks eye contact quickly before saying, 'Yes I was there. But it was years ago Lucas.'

But Lucas wasn't listening, he's pacing again, 'Why didn't you let me know you were there?'

'You were with Lindsey and you looked happy. I didn't want to screw it up.'

'Fuck, Peyton.' He says and he looks like he's ready to hit something.

'It's no big deal.'

'Are you fucking kidding me?' Lucas asks and his voice is raised, he stops his pacing and looks at her, 'That night was mine and Lindsey's first date. I thought you'd moved on so I decided to as well. Everything could have been different you know that? Everything.'

Peyton swallows hard and tries to keep all of her rational thought, 'It doesn't matter now Lucas, you're marrying Lindsey and you love her.'

He scoffs and turns to her again, taking a stride forward so that they're an arm length apart, 'Right and loving her is not being able to stop thinking about you, loving her is writing a novel based around you, loving her is me pushing you against your office wall wanting to be the closest I could to you because I've missed you so damn much right?'

Peyton's eyes glazed over in tears, 'Don't. Don't do this.'

He hadn't intended for it to become this but before he knows it he's finally telling the truth for what feels like years and it won't stop, he can't stop the flurry of words coming out of his mouth.

'And I fucking hate it. I hate that you still have this effect on me!'

'Don't you think I hate that too? I hate that I still love you.'

He's stunned into silence, 'You love me?'

'I wish I didn't.'

'Don't say that.' Lucas chokes, 'Don't. What we had-'

'What we had is in the past for you okay, you're getting married.' Her tears have slowly leaked past her eye lids.

'You don't think I still think of what could have been? You think I don't wonder what might have happened if I'd swallowed my damn pride and waited? Because I do, I think about it everyday.' Lucas says and there's passion in his words.

The passion that's ignited inside of him by Peyton.

'Well now it's too late.'

'Really?' He waits a few moments before saying the word and her eyes lock to his.

'You're getting married Lucas.' She pleads as though to keep him away but he steps towards her closing the gap between them.

'And if I wasn't?' He asked quietly, their breath mingling as he stopped right in front of her.

'You are.' She breathed and he reached out a hand, his finger brushing away a tear that fell. He leans forward, their foreheads meeting and he wishes that it didn't have to be this way. He wishes this wasn't what it had come to.

A knock at the door makes them both jump and Peyton quickly steps away from him. The door opens and Karen pops her head around, seeing the two of them she says quickly, 'Oh, I'll come back.'

'No Karen, I was just leaving.' Peyton said and her voice sounds like she's in a tunnel, getting further and further away. She gives Lucas one last glance and retreats out of the room. Karen shuts the door behind her and surveys her son. He looks utterly defeated.

'What are you doing my boy?'

'I don't know.' He admits his shoulders slumping. Karen walks up to him and goes about fixing his bow tie as he stands numbly.

'That girl is distraught.' She notes and sees how he closes his eyes and grimaces. 'And she doesn't look like she's the only one. Why are you here Lucas?'

'Because I love Lindsey.'

His mother sees straight through the lie he just told and he sort of loves that she did. 'And so why was Peyton in your dressing room?'

'I needed to talk to her.'

'About?'

'The past. I needed to clear things up- we left, our break up- it was messy.' He grimaces again and shoves his hands into his pocket.

'Only because there were unresolved feelings. Feelings that as far as I can tell are still unresolved.'

'It's not that easy ma, I have commitments… I made a commitment to marry Lindsey.'

'You're twenty three years old Lucas, you should only be marrying for love.'

'I don't know how it got so out of hand.' Lucas says pressing his palms to his eyes. 'Peyton was back in town after three years and I just- I couldn't stop thinking about her and it was driving me crazy because I was with Lindsey and she's been so good to me over the years. And then suddenly the only solution that I thought would take away any doubts would be marriage.'

'Marriage doesn't shield what you really feel, Lucas.'

'I know and since the engagement all I've done is wonder why I did it.'

'And why's that?'

'Because-' Lucas sighed, 'Because I'm not over Peyton.'

Karen couldn't help but smile a little at her sons revelation, they were at least getting somewhere, 'Then should you really be getting married?'

He shrugged and Karen wrapped her arms around her son, 'Do you know what the best piece of advice Keith ever gave me was?'

He murmured a 'no' and Karen squeezed her son before saying, 'Follow your heart.'

_You're wrong _

_I don't belong to you_

Smiling he kisses his new wife on the lips before pulling away again to go back to their packing.

'Do you realise that soon we'll be on our honeymoon?'

'I know.' He smiles zipping up his bag.

'So where are we going?'

'Oh no you don't.' Lucas smirks before walking over to his wife as she huffed and encircling his arms around her waist pulling her to him. 'You, Mrs Scott, will have to wait and see.'

'Wait, I thought you were taking my name, Mr Sawyer?' Peyton smirked, her tongue poking out of her mouth at the corner. He laughed and closed his eyes with embarrassment before opening them again,

'Clearly Haley told you about Mr Lucas Sawyer in my notebook.'

'It's cute.' Peyton smirked threading her fingers through Lucas' hair and eskimo kissing him, 'If a little creepy, I didn't even know who you were at the time after all.'

'Hey!' Lucas exclaimed stepping away from her, 'It wasn't my fault; I've never been able to resist you.'

Peyton gives him a smile that leaves him a little breathless and goes back to packing her bag. It was true really; they'd never been able to resist each other. The day of Lucas' wedding to Lindsey showed that; he cancelled the wedding and although it hurt him to hurt Lindsey he reasoned that it would hurt more if they'd got married and the break up had come further down the line because there was no denying it, a break up was inevitable. He was in love with someone else. There'd been yelling and crying all in the church but behind closed doors and then Lindsey had fled upon which Lucas had gone out and told all of the guests the wedding wasn't going to be happening.

His eyes had been on Peyton and her heart had fluttered; she hadn't been sure what this meant but at the same time she'd fallen just a little bit harder for him.

They hadn't gotten together after the wedding as most people expected them to. In fact Peyton went on tour with Mia and Lucas focused on his career for a while; he released his book The Comet under a new editor and when Peyton got back to town he'd done a lot of thinking and a lot of soul searching and they began to rebuild their relationship. Friendship first, although they always knew it would lead to something more, and then they tip toed into a relationship taking time to get to know each other again and sorting through past problems. Lucas spent a lot of his time apologising and that was when Peyton knew the old Lucas was back; she told him that although she hadn't recognised the person he'd been she hadn't loved him any less because she knew that with or without her influence he'd get back to who he was. Because he would always be the man Keith had taught him to be; a good guy through and through.

After that statement he told her he loved her and after that they weren't moving so slowly anymore. In fact within weeks they moved in together and within months Lucas had proposed. Six months after that they became husband and wife in an intimate ceremony by the river court with all of their friends and family.

'I love you, you know that?'

Peyton looked up at her husbands voice and a grin slowly unfurled about her lips, she was about to answer but Lucas' voice stopped her again. He walked closer and pulled her gently towards him,

'I've always loved you.' He whispered and pressed a kiss to her lips. 'Even when I haven't shown it.'

'I know.' Peyton whispered and although that wasn't entirely true in the year since his almost wedding to Lindsey he'd proven his love for her countless times and so she'd forgiven and let go of all of their problems and her fears.

Lucas raised a hand to cup her cheek and as his gaze bore into hers her heart skipped a beat, like so many times it had in the past whenever her now husband looked at her. Breaking their eye contact Peyton kissed him, even after a year she relished in the fact that she could do this without any worry. He deepened the kiss almost instantaneously and they forgot all about the world around them as her hands clenched around his shirt pulling him closer. In one motion he shrugged off his shirt and pulled her camisole over her head, she couldn't help but chuckle at his speed. He grinned but shrugged his shoulder before kissing her again, his tongue moving swiftly past hers, he pulled her closer and she looped her arms around his neck. He lifted her slightly and lay them both down atop the covers of their bed, both forgetting completely that they had a honeymoon to go to.

His hand travelled down her stomach and to her thigh and the underside of her knee which was crooked slightly, his lips moving to her collarbone. Peyton closed her eyes and feathered her fingers through his hair.

'Luke.' She whispered and he raised his head, his eyes immediately finding hers. 'I love you too.'

Lucas grinned, his eyes crinkling adorably at the sides giving him an even more squinty look and he brushed a curl out of his wife's face before kissing her again.

'Jamie go outside and wait with your mother.'

'Why?'

'Because I said so.'

Lucas' head swivelled around and he caught sight of Nathan, standing in the doorway looking half bemused half embarrassed. He scratched his head and averted his eyes a little.

'Er hello, have you ever heard of knocking?' Lucas asked incredulously, pulling a pillow from the top of the bed and attempting to shield his wife from view.

'Dude, ain't nothing I haven't seen before.' Nathan grinned and quickly found the pillow hitting him in the face. He picked it up off the floor when it fell with a chuckle and with his eyes still carefully on anything but his brother and sister in law he said, 'I'll- uh- be waiting outside.'

He left and Lucas looked down at his wife with a pout. Peyton smiled, 'We have a honeymoon to get to.'

'I know but-' Lucas murmured, his fingers brushing across her cheek and into her hair as his lips went to her neck.

'Oh no you don't.' Peyton said with a chuckle, 'Stop seducing me.'

'Is it working?' Lucas asked with a smirk as he lifted his head.

Peyton raised an eyebrow and pushed Lucas off her; he rolled away with a groan and picked up his shirt pulling it around his shoulders before Peyton turned to him again, her camisole covering her torso.

'Honey, it always works.' She smirked and he grinned,

'Our honeymoons going to be amazing then.' He smirked and Peyton laughed before walking out of their bedroom.

'P Scott!'

Peyton nearly jumped out of her skin and quickly turned around, Brooke, Haley and Jamie were sitting at the kitchen table.

'Nathan was blushing when he left- what did you do to the poor guy?' Brooke smirked.

'Nothing.' Peyton said innocently and even Haley raised an eyebrow at her.

'Well whatever he saw was his own fault, the door was shut for a reason- hasn't he ever heard of knocking?'

Brooke and Haley laughed before Brooke said with a grin, 'A quickie before the honeymoon? Nice.'

'What's a quickie?' Jamie asked innocently and Peyton let out a snort while Haley looked at her son in shock.

'Ask your dad.' Brooke winked and Jamie shrugged and went outside.

'Oh Nathan's gonna love you.'

'He's probably mentally scarred by you and Lucas anyway.' Brooke smirked and Peyton threw a dishcloth at her.

_I belong_

Picking up their bags Lucas carried them out of the back door and to Nathan's waiting SUV.

'I'm sorry about that.' Lucas told his brother and Nathan waved his hand as though trying to banish the image.

'It's fine just- lets not talk about it.'

Lucas laughed, 'All right, well thanks for offering to take us to the airport man.'

'No problem.' Nathan said with a smile, 'I'm just glad you and Sawyer are finally married, god knows I couldn't deal with any more drama from the two of you.'

Lucas smiled a little guility, 'Yeah most of the drama coming from me and my stupid decisions.'

Nathan shrugged, 'The stupid decisions don't matter anymore; you have her and I'd say that's a pretty great ending.'

Lucas smiled at his brother's words and lifted the suitcases into the boot. Nathan closed the door and they watched as Peyton, Haley and Brooke stepped out of the house, Peyton locking the door behind her. They sidled over to the car and he held out his hand for his new wife, Peyton took it with a smile and he intertwined their fingers, kissing her knuckles.

'You ready Mrs Scott?'

'Definitely.' She beamed and he couldn't help but place a small kiss to her lips. He still couldn't believe that after everything that had happened to them since he'd first caught sight of her in the sixth grade that Peyton Sawyer was finally his wife.

Nathan had been wrong, it wasn't a great ending. It was a perfect one.

_I belong with you_

* * *

><p><strong>Song; Belong by the Cary Brothers. It's a great song and after listening to it a few times this literally popped into my head. Hope you liked it :) Let me know...<strong>


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